


Princess Star

by AphantaRay



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24496780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AphantaRay/pseuds/AphantaRay
Summary: Star Butterfly is a magical princess - in her imagination. Marco Diaz, her trusty squire, does his best to keep her safe, but when the trivial obstacles in her fantasies prove insurmountable in the real world, it takes a toll on them both.
Relationships: Star Butterfly & Marco Diaz
Comments: 15
Kudos: 23





	Princess Star

**Author's Note:**

> Daron Nefcy's original vision for Star was a girl who merely believed she was a magical princess. MoringMark did [an amazing one-shot comic](https://moringmark.tumblr.com/post/619276403827933184/one-shot-comic-based-on-daron-nefcys-original) that explored this premise. It was heartwarming and inspiring, which you would think would make me write something fluffy and nice, but since everything I touch turns to angst and suffering, we now have this piece of work.
> 
> I'm hesitant to publish it, because it kind of hits on some sensitive stuff, but I was told it might find love in the light of day, so here we are. Tread with caution.

_Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a world wrought with danger. Monsters lurked in every dark corner of the kingdom. They sought to rob her of the magical artifacts that were the source of her power – the spell book and the wand. And for years, she was alone in her fight, until one day a brave hero came to her aid and helped her defeat the greatest foe she had ever faced. From that day forth, the noble Marco Diaz served as her squire, and they had many adventures together – much to his despair._

_For you see, there was no magic, there were no monsters, and there was no brave hero. There was only a girl with an imagination too powerful to control, and an anxious boy who couldn’t bear to let that girl get hurt while she was stuck inside her fantasies. The only element that overlapped in both their worlds was the very real presence of danger – danger that threatened the girl’s life on every adventure. And, to Marco, it seemed that he was the only force standing between Star and total annihilation. He accepted his station with trepidation, but he fulfilled his squirely duties without fail – until one day when it all went wrong._

_Let’s join our unfortunate squire for that misadventure, shall we?_

***

“Star, wait!” Marco chased after his charge as best he could, but she was way too fast, even in her royal dress.

Star called back, “It’s _Princess_ Star, squire!”

“Princess Star, please! I can’t keep up like this!”

Star huffed impatiently and slowed down for Marco to catch up, then she continued at a light jog, “You haven’t been keeping up in your training, have you, squire?”

“Sorry dude, I have like… a ton of homework to do these days. Wait, don’t you _also_ have homework to do?”

Star scoffed, “Whatever, I’ve got important stuff to do. All that dumb princess school stuff can wait.”

“Star you can’t fall behind like this. _I_ get in trouble when you miss deadlines, remember? Study buddy? I can’t lose any more gold stars this year, Star. I just can’t.”

“Hmph. Looks like I’m not the one falling behind, squire!” Star picked up the pace again, and Marco quickly lost sight of her in the dense foliage of what she called _The Forest of Certain Death_ , which… was not a super encouraging name. Marco always tried his best not to imagine what dangers she’d seen out here that inspired _that_ name. They were still pretty close to Echo Creek’s suburban neighborhoods, so there probably weren’t any _especially_ ravenous wild animals. Maybe just wasps and raccoons? Hopefully just wasps and raccoons. He could handle that.

When Marco finally caught up with her, Star was standing on the edge of a deep crevice that had split open the earth. It was surrounded by plants and loose dirt, and it kind of came up out of nowhere. He didn’t see it until he got right up next to it. Considering how fast Star was going, Marco figured she was lucky she didn’t just run right over the edge.

She was peering over the edge and mentally measuring up the distance down and across. Marco realized immediately that she was planning to jump the gap. _Obviously_ she would be planning to jump the gap. She couldn’t just walk around like a normal person. The chasm was only like fifty yards from end to end, but it had at least a fifteen foot drop here into darkness that Marco could only imagine was filled with pointy rocks and snakes. The gap was at least ten feet. Even an Olympian probably wouldn’t risk it, right?

But Star was no mere Olympian; she was a nigh-invincible spell weaver, and anything was possible for her – something she reminded Marco about daily.

“There’s no way across,” Star lamented, “How will we rescue our people now? They’re stuck in that wretched prison, rotting away, calling out for our help.”

“Well, the bad guys got across this somehow,” Marco reasoned, trying to get into the fantasy, “There must be a bridge somewhere or something.”

Star looked up and down the ridge, but of course saw nothing like a bridge since any sensible person would just _walk around_.

“They must have cut it to slow us down,” She insisted, “But don’t worry, squire.” Star gave Marco a coy smile, “There’s always a way.”

Star pulled out her trusty magic wand, and Marco felt his stomach sink. He had to stop this. Maybe if he got to the other side first, he could catch her or something. Or if he had a rope? He quickly rifled through his adventuring bag, but then he remembered he hadn’t had a chance to replace the rope after their last adventure.

_Why? Why didn’t he bring a rope this time? They always needed a rope!_

“Hey, wait!” Marco kept going with his attempts to persuade her to stop, “Before you go casting any spells, maybe you should… save your energy? We’ll need it for the bad guys, right?”

If he could just convince her to walk around it, this would all be fine. But he’d have to do it while playing along, and she always made up the rules to this game as they went. It was like she enjoyed confounding him.

“There’s no time for that, squire!” Star raised her wand in the air, “Our people need us!” Then she dramatically pointed the colorful plastic toy at her feet, “ _Meteoric Leap Spell_!”

Do meteors _leap_ , Marco wondered to himself for just a fraction of a second before he realized he had to spring into action, like… _now_.

“Wait!” Marco dashed in front of Star with his arms spread to block her, “I can’t in good conscience let you go first. Not over such a dangerous pit, Princess Star.” He always had to address her ‘properly’ if he wanted to be taken seriously. “Who knows what foul creatures might be waiting to eat you up as you fly over this darkness? Let me…” He took a deep breath and gathered up his courage, “Let me jump first, just to make sure it’s safe.”

Star tapped her wand on her chin while she considered Marco’s proposal, then at last she nodded in agreement.

“That’s very noble of you, squire. I’ll give you a commendation for this when we return to the castle.”

Marco sighed with relief, and Star cast her _Meteoric Leap_ spell on him.

“Don’t worry,” she assured him, “If any harm comes to you, I’ll come back for you. Right after I’m done saving our people.”

Marco rolled his eyes, “Very kind of you princess, thank you.”

Star excitedly watched Marco prepare himself for the leap, giving him some heartfelt encouragement whenever he looked like he was reconsidering.

He stepped right up to the edge to look down, which he immediately realized was a bad idea. It really was a big fall. The soil felt pretty stable when he dug his heel into it. Maybe this wouldn’t go horribly wrong? He backed up to give himself a huge running start.

“Okay,” he whispered to himself, trying to pump himself up, “You can do this. Just remember all that long jump stuff from Phys Ed. Drive. Attack. Takeoff. Wait, which foot was it for takeoff? No. Don’t think about it. Just go. _Go go go_.”

He sprinted towards the chasm and leapt with everything he had.

“Fly, squire!” Star called after him.

He knew there wasn’t really any magic in it, but somehow having Star encouraging him felt like… maybe he could…

But no, it wasn’t enough. He landed on the other side in probably the worst way possible – smashing his ribs directly into the edge of the ravine. The wind was knocked right out of him, and he grasped at the plants and soil on the other side to keep from falling into the depths of the fissure.

But he was losing his grip. The grass tore from its roots. Time seemed to warp itself around him. The wind grew still, the trees stood silent, Star’s concerned cries became a distant memory. Marco’s mind was racing but his body refused to keep up, and everything around him disappeared except that slightly out of reach sapling in front of him. He clawed wildly at the crumbling turf again and again, but he couldn’t get a grip on anything. This was it. He was done for.

Then he felt a vice grip on his wrists. Star was there, feet planted firmly in the ground, trying to pull him up. How did she get across? Did she jump too? Did she make it so easily? Was he really that out of shape?

“Shake off that serpent, squire! Or you’ll pull me in with you!”

Star must have got it in her head that something had grabbed Marco while he was jumping. He dug his feet into the wall of the ravine and tried to scramble up. It was slow work, and Star was clearly straining herself, but together they managed to drag Marco back up onto solid earth.

They both collapsed on the ground from exhaustion. Marco could only take shallow breaths while he recovered from the impact. He laid on his back, covered his eyes with the crook of his arm, and tried to think calm thoughts to stabilize his breathing.

Star spoke between heavy, tired breaths, “I totally would have died if that serpent got me, squire. You have pretty good instincts for this sort of thing.”

Marco managed to get out a weak and entirely insincere, “Thanks.”

He played the scene out in his mind a few times. He probably wouldn’t have died, but breaking a few bones was a real possibility. Keeping Star safe was important, but there must have been a better way. He went over it again. And again. Why wouldn’t she just listen?

When Star got her breath back, she got up and stood by the edge of the ravine to peer into the darkness, “Where is that foul creature? I should blast it before we leave so no one else—Whoa!” Star suddenly yelped with surprise.

Marco sat up with a start and looked to where she was standing, but she was gone. He didn’t even have time to think before a loud scream of pain erupted from the bottom of the chasm. He rushed to the edge and immediately saw what happened. A huge chunk of earth was missing where Star had been peering over. It must have been the same spot where he was scrambling to climb up. His desperate clawing had loosened the soil, and it just… collapsed under her weight.

“Star!” he shouted into the darkness. He could just barely make out her body, but he couldn’t tell if she was moving. “Are you okay?” _Please be okay._

There was a silence that lasted way too long for Marco to endure.

“Star come on! Are you okay?” He repeated, “Say something!”

Then Star let out a weak simpering wail like a child with a scraped knee, and gave Marco a scared and pained reply, “My arm. My arm… I can’t…”

“Okay! You’re okay! Don’t move! Don’t move it! I’m calling for help, okay? You’ll be fine! Keep talking to me, okay?”

_She’ll be fine. She’ll be fine. She’ll be fine._

He kept repeating that thought to himself while he dialed up 9-1-1 and explained the situation, trying to drown out another thought that was getting louder and louder.

But he couldn’t bury it for long, and soon it was all he could hear:

_This is your fault._

***

_The mighty princess Star was bested by that vile serpent, who in the throes of death dragged the girl to the depths of its lair and stung her wand arm with its poison. Blackness surrounded her, but in the silence, there was still a voice that called out to her and promised to keep her safe. Squire Marco braved the descent into the crevice and came to her side to hold her hand in the darkness, refusing to let her succumb to the serpent’s poison. And thanks to her faithful squire, that darkness was soon vanquished by a bright, healing light – flashing red and white. It seemed to Star that her protégé had at last learned to cast his own spells under her tutelage. She would have showered him with praise if she could have managed to stay awake, but as soon as she was lifted out of the chasm, she fell into a deep sleep._

_She woke in a white room filled with strange contraptions. The laboratory of the kingdom’s practitioners of dark magic – forced into the employ of the king and queen to serve their people. She has always been suspicious of their magic, but she had to trust in it now to make her well again._

_Despite the mages’ best efforts, the serpent’s poison left her arm useless. They encased it in a healing shell, and she was told it should recover in a few months – which seemed entirely too long. She had a kingdom to protect, after all. But in the meantime, she knew she could trust her squire to take care of her people’s safety._

***

Marco knocked on the hospital room door, and heard a cheerful voice beckoning him to come inside.

“Marco!” Star bubbled, then caught herself and put on a stern tone, “Where have you been, squire?”

“Sorry, they wouldn’t let me visit until you were sorted out. And uh… I kind of had to sneak in. I don’t think I can face your parents right now…”

“Oh, don’t worry about them. I told them how heroic you were. I’m sure they’ll have a medal for you after all this. How did the mission go? You rescued our people?”

Marco didn’t want to be a downer right now, so he just played along, “Yeah, Star, I got them back safely. Don’t worry about it, okay? You just need to get better.”

“Good, good. That’s what’s most important. My safety comes second to the kingdom’s. I knew I could count on you. You’re a good man, Squire Marco.”

“Yeah I’m not sure about that,” Marco muttered to himself.

He reflected on how pointless this stupid mission of theirs had been. They had recently been fighting a fictional war against an evil overlord who had somehow managed to kidnap and hold ransom a whole town full of ‘innocent villagers’. But there obviously weren’t really any people to save. Not even toys or animals or… _something_. It was just Star, chasing after something entirely made up.

How could Star put that fantasy above her own health?

“Tell me what happened!” Star insisted. This was clearly the highlight of her day, so Marco figured he could humor her a bit.

He sat down next to Star and tried to spin a tale about his adventures rescuing the captives. He threw in some dragons and goblins, some romantic side plots, a dramatic twist (the bad guy was actually being manipulated by an even _bigger_ bad guy) – just whatever tropey adventure story stuff he could think of.

Star was delighted.

But the whole time, Marco was thinking about how he had been warned about this. When they first started hanging out, Star’s parents told him not to indulge Star’s fantasies too much, that sometimes they went too far, that sometimes people got hurt. He had always assumed they were worried about _his_ safety, but now… Maybe he should just stop playing with Star entirely. She’d get bored of all this magic stuff if she had no one else to play with, right? She’d have to realize it was all fake if no one else acknowledged it.

“Oh, did you get my wand back?” Star asked expectantly, “You know I can’t lose it.”

“Uh, kind of.”

Marco dug around in his pocket and produced a fistful of bits and pieces of what used to be Star’s wand. It was destroyed when she fell. He didn’t know why, but it felt important to keep it safe, and to keep it away from Star’s parents.

Star picked the biggest single piece out of Marco’s palm and sulked, “Oh that is super busted, huh? How are we gonna fix it? I can’t do my magic without it.”

“I mean, there’s probably some tape around here somewhere.”

Marco got up and dug around in the drawers of the hospital room. He managed to find a few rolls of translucent medical tape.

“How’s this?” he asked, holding up the roll.

“I don’t see how a troll ring is going to help, but you’re becoming a powerful mage in your own right, squire. I’ll trust you to repair it. For now, just keep it safe for me, okay? I can’t let any of these dark mages get their hands on it. I don’t trust them, and who knows what they would do with all that power?”

Marco shoved the roll of tape and the pieces of the wand back in his pocket and promised to take good care of it.

He was about to say goodbye for the day when he heard someone having a conversation in the hallway. He had accidentally left it open a crack when he came in, so it was pretty easy to hear. Star shushed him so they could listen.

It was Star’s mom, apparently speaking to Star’s doctor.

“You don’t think it’s on purpose, do you?” Star’s mom asked, “She’s just playing around, right? Please tell me she’s not trying to… you know…”

“No, I don’t think she’s trying to die. Kids put themselves in dangerous situations to get attention. These fantasies of hers are probably just an escape, a way to give herself the attention she wants. From what I’ve seen, she knows it’s pretend, but she has trouble switching the fantasy off when her safety is at risk. We have medication that can help with that.”

“No. No medication. All the side effects? The addiction? I don’t want that for her. We can solve this normally. Just give us a therapist. That’s better in the long run anyways, isn’t it? What’s what I’ve read.”

“I understand your concerns. Medication is just the most immediate solution, just to keep her safe. I’ve seen her records. She’s in hospital too often, you have to admit that. It’s starting to look bad on you as her guardians. And you know she can’t be left alone like this if she’s just going to run off and hurt herself again. You’re right that behavioral therapy is the best treatment in the long term, but it takes time and practice, and it’s hard to motivate a patient who’s struggling with an attention disorder to focus on it. Medication is just an intermediate short term solution until the patient has gotten used to working through their triggers and bad thought patterns. Then she can start cutting the dose and hopefully get off of it entirely.”

Star’s mom hesitated to reply, “It just feels like… Why can’t she just have her fantasies? She’s just a kid, right? Why do we have to put chains on her imagination?”

“This won’t kill her imagination. I promise. It’s just going to make it easier for her to see the difference between fantasy and reality, and it’s going to allow her to get out of her own world and back into ours when she’s playing. It’ll help her keep herself safe.”

There was a long pause before Star’s mom replied, “Okay. Talk me through the different medications. I want the safest one.”

The doctor continued, “Well, they all have risks…”

Star urgently whispered to Marco, “Find my clothes. I think they’re in the closet there.”

“Why?”

“We’re leaving. Right now. Hurry, come on.”

Star rolled out of bed, wincing a bit when she put too much weight on her arm, then she started fussing with the window, trying to force it open, but it wouldn’t budge.

“This place is like a prison,” she lamented. “Fine, let’s hide. Get under the bed. Quickly!”

Marco grabbed the plastic hospital bag that contained Star’s clothes out of the closet and dove under the bed to hide with her. He whispered, “What are we hiding for?”

“We’re getting out of here. When they see I’m gone, they’ll go looking for me. That’s when we run, okay?”

Before Marco could ask another question (and he had a few), the door opened.

Star’s mom was aghast, “Where is she?” she demanded to know.

The doctor didn’t reply. Marco could only imagine she was shrugging.

“How do you not _know_ where my daughter is? Find her! Check the cameras! Block the entrances! Whatever it is you do, go do it!”

When the doctor was out of the room, Marco watched with trepidation as Star’s mom got closer and closer to the bed. Would she find them? What would he even say if she found them? He was not prepared to deal with Star’s parents at all right now.

But Star’s mom wasn’t even looking. She was sniffling and crying for a moment before she furiously slammed her fists into the bed and wept, “Damn it! Why do you do this to us?”

Marco looked to Star for some sign that this was enough, that it was time to come out of hiding and tell her mom she was okay, but there was no sign. Star had a sad and solemn look on her face, but she just shook her head and held Marco’s wrist to silently remind him not to move or say anything.

After Star’s mom finished getting her frustrations out and left the room, Star took the bag of clothes out of Marco’s hands and quickly changed.

“Don’t look,” she warned him.

He obviously wasn’t going to look anyways, but just to make a point of it, he stayed under the bed until she said he could come out. She was back in her poofy royal dress, complete with her plastic tiara. The outfit was still dirty from the fall.

“Let’s go,” Star urged Marco on, “Keep a look out for her. We have to get out of here.”

Star led the way, checking around every corner on their way to the staircase that led to the emergency exit. Marco noted that she was strangely familiar with the layout of the building. She must’ve been here before. _Too often_ , the doctor had said. He’d only known Star for a couple of months now. Was this really a regular thing for her?

When they got inside the stairwell, Marco had to ask why they were doing this.

“You heard them, Marco. They want to take away my magic. _Forever_. These dark mages… I knew they couldn’t be trusted. They’ve done something to my mom. Probably my dad, too. Twisted up their minds. I have to help them. There must be a spell that can undo this. Let’s get back to the castle and grab my spell book so we can figure out a way to get them back to normal.”

Marco was absolutely not expecting another adventure when he came to visit Star today. Nor did he _want_ an adventure right now. But it didn’t matter what he wanted. Star was going to do this with or without him. At least if he was there, this time, without fail, he could make sure she was safe.

While they were walking over to Star’s house to get the ‘spell book’, Marco had a question that was bothering him.

“How many times have you been there? To the hospital.”

Star answered dismissively, like she was barely paying attention, “I don’t know, a few.”

“Why?”

“You’ve been on enough adventures with me to know why, squire. Keeping the kingdom safe is dangerous work. Sometimes you get hurt. It’s not a big deal.”

“It kind of feels like a big deal, dude.”

“It’s not your job to question your princess, squire.”

“Oh yeah?” Marco was feeling a little fed up with this. “What _is_ my job, then? Just follow you around? Nag you? Protect you? Because apparently I’m not very good at that. Maybe I should just quit and you can get a new squire who actually _does_ their job.”

Star stopped and turned to face Marco with a stern look, “I can take care of myself, _squire_. Protecting me isn’t your job. Your _job_ is to do whatever it takes to help me protect this _kingdom_. And… and you do your job really well, so I won’t hear you say another bad word about it. You’re irreplaceable, and you’re not allowed to quit. I can’t—this _kingdom_ can’t lose you, okay? Now come on, we need to hurry. They might get home soon.”

Star’s parents still out when they arrived. They were probably frantically looking everywhere around the hospital for their kid. This was a bad idea.

Star crept up to her room while Marco kept watch on the main floor.

While he was waiting, he noticed some colorful pamphlets on the dining room table. _ADHD in Adolescent Girls. How to Recognize Self Harm. Treatments for Common Anxiety Disorders in Pre-Teens._ Next to those was a small stack of books on psychology, and a notebook. Marco gave in to his curiosity and flipped through the notes. They had quotes and references from the books and pamphlets, along with a few checklists of symptoms and warning signs for mental health disorders, and some dates and times for appointments with doctors. The dates on the pages went back a pretty long time.

He snapped the notebook shut when Star came back down with her spell book – a massive old leather-bound accounting ledger filled with notes and drawings. The cover was decorated with glitter and plastic gems. She’d shown it to him before, and honestly, he was impressed by how much detail she’d put into it. Apparently, she’d been working on it since she was really young – some of the drawings were just crayon scribbles. Marco’s personal favorite spell in the book was just called _Bigbees!_ which, supposedly, summoned a swarm of gigantic, fuzzy, green-and-red striped insects to tickle her enemies into submission.

“Got it!” Star cheered while kind of holding up the tome with her healthy arm. Then she motioned towards the door, “Come on, let’s go find somewhere to hide and fix up the wand, then we can plan out our next move.”

Marco glanced back at the literature on the table, hesitated for a moment, then pushed aside his growing concerns and followed after Star.

They didn’t actually go very far. Just to a nearby park that had a play structure with a roof and some walls. It seemed like the kind of place Star could convince herself a safe hideout, despite being surrounded by a handful of bored parents and dozens of wild children.

Star sat cross-legged in the little alcove, letting out a little yelp of pain when she accidentally tried to support herself on her broken arm. After some effort, she managed to get the massive spell book in her lap and opened it to flip through its contents. She got a few pages in before she noticed Marco wasn’t doing anything other than vacantly staring at her cast.

“Marco. Hey! Marco, pay attention here. Get to work on the wand, okay? I’ll need it for this spell. When I find it. Might take a while. Why is this thing so huge, huh?”

Marco nodded and accepted his task with a little sigh. At least it was something else to focus on. He pulled out the tape and the pieces of the wand and started trying to fit everything back together.

_This is your fault._

That thought kept coming back. The warning Star’s parent gave him about indulging her. Their notes on self-harm. Her frequent hospital visits. Her mom’s breakdown in the hospital room. The cast. He let her down. He was presently letting her down by playing along. Would he ever really be able to keep her safe like this?

_This is your fault._

If he’d never been stuck with Star at school, if he’d just refused to play along with these games of hers, if he could just stop her for once from doing something reckless…

Something wet hit his hand while he was struggling to rip off a piece of tape. He wiped his cheeks and carried on with his grim work, trying to think about something else.

While he was working, he spotted Star struggling to sneakily write something in the spell book with her left hand. Probably inventing a new spell to deal with all this – though she’d pretend it was a spell written by one of her grandmothers like she always did.

Was she really trying to hurt herself with all this? It always seemed like she was just having fun, just trying to make the world a better place, just trying to protect her kingdom.

When Marco finished repairing the wand (it looked awful), he silently put it on top of the open book in Star’s lap. He saw her smile and heard her say something like _you’re the best_ but it didn’t register in his mind. All he could think – all he could _say_ – was, “This has to stop.”

“I know!” She replied immediately, “We can’t let them get away with—”

“No. Star. _This_ ,” Marco pointed at the book, “ _This_ has to stop. There’s no spell that can fix your parents. They aren’t broken. The doctors aren’t trying to take away your magic, because you don’t _have_ any magic. You _aren’t_ a princess.”

A look of fear crept across Star’s face, “What do you…” She inched away from Marco uncomfortably, “Are… are you one of them? Did they—”

“There is no ‘them’, Star! Monsters and magic and spells – it’s not real. It’s not real, okay? You’re just imagining it all. And it’s… it’s a really cool thing that you can get so into it all, okay? I like these adventures. Your imagination is amazing. It’s really fun playing with you like this, but this stuff is getting you hurt. And I can’t… I can’t just keep…” Marco’s vision was getting fuzzy. More tears. “They want to help you. They can help you. They love you. They really do. Please.”

He never wanted to do this to her, but he realized now: this had been building up in him for a long time. He really loved this magical world she created, the world she invited him into. Even if it was hectic and full of unnecessary danger, it was fun. She didn’t deserve to have that taken away from her. But he couldn’t live with this feeling, the burden, the guilt.

Star lowered her head and stared at the old ledger in her lap, at the plaster cast on her arm, at the shoddily repaired plastic wand. She was very still and quiet for a long time, though her eyes were moving back and forth, lost in thought.

Marco didn’t know what to say, but he didn’t want to leave her, so he just sat with her in silence, waiting for her to say something.

At last, she spoke. “I know, you know,” she admitted in a low voice, “Obviously.” She was reluctant to continue, but she kept going, “Magic isn’t… It’s all made up. I know. It was just a game. No one ever wanted to play, though. I was so happy when… when you…” She choked a bit, “I’m sorry. You’re right. Maybe it’s time to stop playing around.”

“You can still play around, Star. Just, like, be more careful. That’s all they want. Your family is worried about you. And, you know, I’m worried too.”

Star let out a defeated laugh, “They think I’m crazy. They even try to play along sometimes, but it’s all fake to them. I’ve heard them. I’ve seen the stuff they write about me. And the doctors. They’re just going to take all of this away from me.” She choked again, trying to hold something back, “I don’t want to lose this.”

Marco had never seen Star be so real before. Was she always just consciously pretending? Or was she really stuck in her head that whole time?

“Why don’t you just tell them you’re okay? I think they’re just scared for you, right? They just want you to be okay.”

Star laughed again, “I don’t know! Really. I don’t know. Maybe I really _am_ crazy. Maybe there’s just nothing to tell them. Maybe I’m _not_ okay. What would I say? ‘Hey mom and dad, I really like pretending to be a magical princess and even though it’s just pretend, it feels real and I love that because the _real world_ doesn’t feel real.’ It sounds pretty weird, right?”

Marco wanted to say no, that it wasn’t weird, but he realized there might actually be something wrong if Star really did find the fantasy more real than reality.

“You’re right, though,” Star flicked her cast disparagingly, “I get a little too into it, I guess. I’m really not trying to hurt myself, though. Really. It’s just, once I get going, I don’t want to stop, you know?”

Star took the tiara off her head and gave it a long look. In her hand, it was easier to see patches where the cheap gold paint had faded to silver from years of daily use.

“I found this thing in the dollar store a _long_ time ago,” Star explained, though it didn’t really feel like she was explaining it to Marco, just to no one in particular, “The gems are magic. They’re from another world. You can see it when you look at them in the starlight. And if you say the right words, they can take you there.” She raised her eyes for a moment to meet with Marco’s, to make sure he was still there, “I know it’s not true, but believing it makes me smile when things suck, like when I’m bad at school, or when my parents are mad at me, or when I’m pretty sure everyone is just pretending to like me because I’m weird.”

Marco shook his head, “Come on, Star, no one pretends to like you. You’re just likeable _and_ weird. That’s a thing.”

Star tossed the tiara on the ground beside her, then the book and the wand. She gave a long sigh and grumbled, “Maybe it’s time to stop being Princess Star and just… deal with being stuck in the real world. With no magic, and no monsters, and no kingdom to save. No squire. Boring and hopeless, Marco! Is that the life for me?”

Marco didn’t like the finality of all that, but maybe stopping entirely was the only way forward for Star. Still, he wanted to hope.

“Maybe… what if you just do the Princess Star thing on weekends or something? Hang out with your faithful squire? Go on fun-but-also-safe adventures?”

Star shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen. My parents are freaking out. And there’s no spell to fix that. They obviously won’t let me keep doing this now. But… if the doctors don’t medicate all the fun out of me, maybe we can go on another adventure again someday.”

Marco tried to smile, “It doesn’t sound that bad, you know.”

Star scoffed, “Easy for you to say.”

Marco helped Star to her feet and offered to fulfil his squirely duties one last time by carrying all her magical princess stuff. She agreed with a sad nod, “As you wish, squire.”

On the walk back to Star’s house, Marco felt like he had a lot of questions for the real Star – most of them about exactly how much she was aware about how much she’d been torturing him on all these adventures. But there wasn’t really enough time to unpack all that. Maybe one question, though.

“Did you know who I really was this whole time? Or was I just a squire in your head?”

Star looked up at the sky as if the answer were hidden there. It was not. After a moment collecting her thoughts, she replied, “I don’t know. Kind of. I mean, you basically got _assigned_ to look after me. It’s not that different, right? It wouldn’t be wrong to think of you like that. You were just hanging out with me because you had to.”

“Well that’s how all friendships start, isn’t it? Get stuck in a room together for long enough and you might find out you _like_ being stuck in a room with someone.”

Star was quiet for a few seconds before she asked with disbelief, “Even after all this, you still want to be friends? You know, I’m probably super boring when I’m not flinging spells around and crushing monsters.”

Marco scoffed, “Because _I’m_ super interesting?”

“You are!” Star caught herself, “Well, I think you are. Like, yeah, you’re a huge dork and you don’t ride a dragoncycle or have a flaming sword or anything cool like that, but I like hanging out with you, even if we’re just doing homework or whatever.” She paused to put her words in order properly before she continued, “I didn’t… I guess I didn’t know you were my friend – to answer your question.” She paused again, then quietly said, “Sorry. I should’ve… seen that. That’s really stupid of me.”

Even after all that time together. Star really was lonely, huh?

“It’s all good,” he replied. “I mean it kind of hurts a bit but… You get it now, right?”

Star nodded with a little smile, “Yeah, I get it.” She leaned into him and gave him the best hug she could manage with a broken arm. “Thanks.”

When they got back to Star’s house, her parents’ car was back in its place in the driveway.

Star’s pace slowed to a halt halfway to the front door. A look of dread took over her face. “Oh man, I really don’t want to do this, Marco. Hey let’s… I don’t know, let’s go get some food. I’ll be braver on a full stomach, right?”

Marco was still feeling kind of bewildered by this side of Star. The princess he’d been hanging out with all this time had never been afraid of anything – especially not talking to her parents.

Star tugged at his sleeve to pull him away from the house, “Come on come on, let’s go. I’ll pay. Hurry up.”

But it was too late. The front door opened, and Star’s mom bolted out onto the lawn to hug and scold her daughter.

Like a reflex, Star immediately started acting like an indignant princess, but she stopped herself before she could even finish one _how dare you_ and just let her mom talk. She offered her mom a quiet apology at every opportunity.

After getting all her frustrations out, Star’s mom sent Star inside, then turned to Marco with a scornful look, “You need to go home, Marco.”

“Yes ma’am. Sorry for all the trouble. Really.”

“Oh Marco, don’t,” Star’s mom said with a tender tone, “It’s not your fault. She’s got a way of pulling people into her world.”

“Yeah. She sure does.”

Marco paused for a moment, trying to decide whether or not he should say anything about what was going on. After everything he’d seen today, he couldn’t just say nothing.

His words stumbled out, “She’s not, you know… It was just an accident. She’s not trying to hurt herself. You have to believe her when she tells you that, okay? It’s true.”

“Okay, I will. Thank you. Now go home and stay out of trouble, okay?”

***

_After being incapacitated by the serpent’s venom for many weeks, Princess Star started to recognize that the kingdom had grown too dependent on her protection. She realized it was time for her to take some distance from the front lines, and to rule her people by example, through wisdom and courage and diplomacy. The vile villains and the rampaging dragons could be handled by the kingdom’s bravest warriors, and only if all else failed would she enter the fray herself. Because above all, the people needed their leader to be safe, to lead them in times of darkness—_

“—Hey, what are you writing there?” Marco asked, peering over Star’s shoulder.

It was the first time her parents had let Marco in through the front door in weeks. They’d finally agreed to let the two of them get back to their old study buddy thing so Star could get caught up on homework.

“Uh. Nothing,” Star quickly flipped to an empty page in her binder. How did Marco sneak up behind her like that? He was supposed to be doing his math homework.

“Oh. You got my hopes up,” he replied with a bit of sarcasm in his voice, “I thought for a second you might actually be working on the essay that’s due in like fifteen hours.”

“I am!”

“You just said—”

“I can do both! I can write nothing _and_ something. Shut up.” She defiantly wrote the words _Big Stupid Essay_ at the top of the blank page, in the tidiest handwriting she could manage with a cast on. Then she asked, “What’s this big stupid essay about, anyways? Books? More books? Maybe something fun for a change like an in-depth analysis of which blunt objects are the best at both bludgeoning and boring your enemies to death – oh wait that’s still just _books_.”

“Did you lose the assignment sheet again?”

Star frowned. He didn’t have to say it like that. And no, she didn’t lose it this time, it was just annoying to get it out of her bag. She grumbled while she rifled through the dozens of loose sheets that lined her backpack. She’d have to sit down one day and go through all of these properly.

She flattened the slightly mangled assignment instructions beside her binder, picked up her pencil, and then… really _wanted_ to work. But she was still stuck on the princess. _The kingdom in ruins. On the run. Searching for the magical—_

“—Hey,” She called over to Marco, who had returned to sitting cross-legged on Star’s bed to work on his math, “Can you put some music on?”

“Sure. Words? No words?”

“Words would be great. But like, not English words?”

“Chill foreign music. Got it.”

The background sounds were just enough to keep Star’s mind occupied while she wrote. The essay wasn’t hard. She’d read the book. She’d bravely tried to answer questions in class. She ranted at Marco about how stupid the story was. It was all in her head now, waiting to come out, and – with her desk set up right, with Marco there to help keep her on task, with the right ambiance – it still took a few minutes to settle in, but once she got into the zone, she totally lost track of time. Pages and pages filled with words. By the time she looked up from her work, the sun was down, and Marco was laying down on her bed, quietly messing around with his phone.

She was stuck on the ending, though. Conclusions were so annoying to write. Like, she just wrote everything important already. Did you read it or not?

She put her head down on the page and tried to stay focused on the essay, but the music was getting too familiar and it wasn’t helping anymore. This was so frustrating. She was almost done. Then she could hang out with Marco properly. Ugh but the whole evening was basically gone. He’d probably have to leave soon.

Marco must have noticed Star struggling. “You alright over there, Star?”

Without lifting her face off of the desk, Star waved her hand dismissively, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking up a good ending. I’ll get it.”

“Want to take a break?”

“I’m fine. Just need to focus.”

But she couldn’t focus. This always happened (she’d been figuring out) whenever she hit an obstacle with no obvious solution. But the problem of keeping herself focused _also_ didn’t have an obvious solution, so it was basically turtles all the way down.

After a few minutes of rolling her forehead back and forth on the page, she was pulled away from her futile attempts by a tap on her shoulder. Marco offered her a game controller and insisted that they play a few rounds of _Crushers Deluxe_ to recharge a bit. He told her that it always helped him when he was stuck.

Star took the controller and joined Marco on the edge of her bed to play, “You get stuck too, huh?”

“Oh, man, all the time. Don’t stress about it. I mean it sucks the night before something’s due, but that’s why I get stuff done early,” he glared at her knowingly, “ _Star_.” He said her name like she should know better by now.

“Yeah yeah, I get it.”

She was trying, and she was getting better. She knew it. A little bit at a time. Good habits: the greatest foe this princess had ever had to face. And deadlines. And her parents’ disappointment.

Star picked her usual favorite fighter – the giant princess-stealing lizard – and promptly started destroying poor helpless Marco. He was really terrible at this game. Why did he even offer to play with her? Was he just humoring her? Star wasn’t sure if that was sweet or patronizing.

Wait.

“Marco. You’re not… You know Star isn’t my real name, right?”

“Uh, yeah. I figured.”

“What? When?”

“Day one, dude. Who names their kid Star? I mean it’s cute but…”

Cute, huh? Well he wasn’t wrong. Star coyly teased, “Well, I bet you’re dying to know my secret identity.”

“I mean, I would be, but it’s kind of…” He pointed around her room at various awards and photos that had her full name written on them, “You aren’t exactly doing a great job at keeping it a secret or anything.”

Star let out a little disappointed huff. So much for having a big dramatic reveal.

“How come you still call me Star, then? Since we’re not playing around anymore.”

“I dunno, that’s just what you told me to call you. I can switch if you want. Might take me a while to get the hang of it, though. You’ve been Star for so long, it’s kind of set in my mind.”

Star thought about it and figured it might be nice to leave it alone – for now, anyways. It was nice having someone call her by a name that fits.

“Nah, it’s fine. I just worry about you, Marco. You’re a naïve baby sometimes. Just… don’t say it in front of my mom for now, okay? It’s not easy convincing her to let you hang out with me. I don’t want her to think you’re ‘indulging me’ again.”

Marco laughed, “I’m a real villain around here, huh? _Marco Diaz, the Corrupter of Minds_.”

Star laughed, “Basically. Classic hero turned villain plot. Turned maybe hero again. I think they’re coming around.”

“Yeah. At least I don’t have to sneak in through the window anymore.”

“You didn’t like the ladder of knotted shirts?”

“I did not.” Marco was getting frustrated with his controller, “Hey think you could stop spamming that fire breath thing or what?”

“Aw can’t handle it, buddy?”

“It’s such an OP move, man, come on.”

“Sucks for you. Get good.”

After trouncing Marco, Star got back to work. She spent a few minutes reading over her work again and realized it wasn’t worth stressing about. The paper was already pretty good. She just put together a lazy summary conclusion. It would be fine.

Star pushed herself away from her desk and threw her arms in the air, “It’s done! Basically. I’ll edit it later.”

Star leapt up from her seat, excitedly pulled her latest sketchbook off of the bookshelf, and hopped onto the bed next to Marco, “Want to see the next chapter? It’s almost done.”

She’d been waiting all day to show him.

“I’m ready. Hit me.”

Star handed the drawings over to Marco and watched intently while he read over the rough sketch of the comic she’d been working on – _The Adventures of Princess Star_ (working title).

In this chapter, the princess’s wand is split in two, and one half of it is stolen by the villain so he can commit crimes and stuff. She’s pretty messed up about it, but she isn’t giving up.

“No squire in this chapter?” Marco asked, disappointed.

Star puffed out her chest indignantly and took the book back, “Star Butterfly can take care of herself.”

“Oh, obviously, but the squire is just such a lovable character, you know. A real crowd favorite. Can’t you just put him in the background somewhere? Eating tacos or something?”

Star gave Marco a playful shove, “Did you like it or not?”

“Yeah, it’s actually really good. I didn’t expect the story to go this way. I thought for sure she was going to get away, but this is way more fun. What happens next?”

“I haven’t got that far ahead. You got any ideas?”

“Hm. What if…”

_—So Princess Star and her noble squire worked on into the night planning the future of the kingdom, until at last Squire Marco was called away to fulfil his other duties._

_As Star looked over their plan, she smiled. The times ahead were filled with danger and uncertainty – but what fun was ruling a kingdom if there wasn’t a little excitement once in a while? And what was a little danger and uncertainty to the unstoppable Princess Star Butterfly and her noble Squire Marco Diaz?_


End file.
